Jerry: I’ll tell you what, there’s 50 bucks in it for you if you do it.
Elaine: What do you mean?
Jerry: You walk over that table, you pick up an eggroll, you don’t say anything, you eat it, say ‘thank you very much’, wipe your mouth, walk away- I give you 50 bucks.
George: What are they gonna do?
Jerry: They won’t do anything; in fact, you’ll be giving them a story to tell for the rest of their lives.
Elaine: 50 bucks, you’ll give me 50 bucks?
Jerry: 50 bucks. That table over there, the three couples.
Elaine: OK, I don’t wanna go over there and do it, and then come back here and find out there was some little loophole, like I didn’t put mustard on it or something…
Jerry: No, no tricks.
Elaine: Should I do it, George?
George: For 50 bucks? I’d put my face in the soup and blow.
(via The Chinese Restaurant)
I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was kind of indescribable really. I felt like I was floating. It turns out that there wasn’t any marijuana in it, it was just an insanely good brownie.
Homeless man with a golden radio voice in Columbus, OH!!
One of these would definitely hit the spot, right about now…